It may sound ludicrous, but I never in my life learned how to relax. I think that the source of this issue was my childhood, where family vacations always consisted of a well-planned (and full) agenda of activities, with minimum "downtime" in between. Although I can look back with fond memories on these times, and got to do a lot of cool things because of the vacations, I also, at the same time, got into the "bad habit" of burning the candle at both ends and feeling anxious or antsy if I was sitting still for too long.
What is odd to me about this discovery is that, until recently, I felt like I was really lazy sometimes. Over the past few years I've made a concerted effort to be MORE active, attending the gym regularly, hiking and partaking in outdoor activities, and keeping a full travel schedule. Then someone told me that relaxing should also fit into my schedule. But I feel like sleep makes me miss out on life, and that taking the time to unwind only inhibits me from spending time doing things I love. (Not that I don't love sleep, I do, but I have always felt like it is a worthy sacrifice for friends and love).
So now I am learning, literally through "practicing", HOW to relax. I am practicing shutting down my body and my mind so I can have a more restful sleep. I also set an alarm to remind me to start getting ready for bed earlier in the evening. Who'd have thought that we should set alarms at NIGHT?! However, this system seems to have least given me a week's worth of more restful nights with fewer wake-ups and fewer bad mornings. I've even been to work with time to spare!
My favorite technique so far for relaxing is progressive muscle relaxation. In this, you tense each muscle group and hold them tightly for a short time, then release. Moving from toes to forehead, not only do you release tension in the muscles (even some that you didn't realize was present) AND your mind is clearer because of the concentration on one activity.
So, if my goal for this year is to be a more complete, content person, I must embrace my inner zen master and learn to relax, even "perfectly" relax.
This is my April's resolution.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Winter Wonderland
I had the great fortune of making it out to Colorado once a month for this winter ski season. something about being in those white mountains, whether the sky be blue or full of flurries, just takes all my stress away. I am never happier than when soaring down the slopes and challenging myself to go faster, ski the bumps, conquer a double, or find fresh powder to make fresh tracks through. This tradition of skiing not only comes from childhood, but also college, and now reunions with college friends, and the best part is the love of my life shares this same passion, too. Well, perhaps not the same level of passion that I feel when I ride that first chair up, but he certainly seems to enjoy the winter sport as much as I do (at least enough to keep going back with me winter after winter).
Our group this year at the third at Winter Park
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
"Mono-tasking"
I recently read in my alma mater's alumni connection about the idea of "mono-tasking"- per the Colorado College block plan of taking one college course at a time, for 3.5 weeks. I realize, after considering this now "revolutionary" system, that perhaps college was such a great time because I was able to slow down and focus. This may seem to be paradoxical, as taking an entire semester's worth of content in only 3.5 weeks by no means feels "slow", on the other hand, there were not so many distractions, giving me time to fully emerge my thoughts and time on a single idea, content, or activity. This system allowed for the depth that I long to teach in my classroom today, without having to be concerned about the other 4-5 courses my students are enrolled in. But this concept extends beyond the classroom, and learning.
The idea of mono-tasking seems to be lost on our current generation and culture. Instead of stopping, slowing down, and relaxing, we are always looking for easier ways to access multiple forms of technology and information, all at the same time. Even as I type this post, I realize that having the news on in the background and having my Google chat open at the same time is taking away from my focus on writing. So what is it that we lose while we live in a world of "multitasking" instead of "mono-tasking"? Are our relationships suffering because we won't give our loved ones 100% of our attention at any given time? (Especially when they deserve and need 100% of our attention at a time of trouble, or to build the relationships.) Does our work suffer because we aren't paying as close attention to the details, but instead are trying to get more done, in a shorter amount of time, while working on other items at the same time. What about our anxiety? Imagine why so many of us suffer from anxiety when we can't even stop our thoughts from interrupting other thoughts, when we've trained our brains to just keep moving and to multi-think. (I am coining that!)
NO WONDER WE ARE EXHAUSTED! I believe some of my generation FEARS being unplugged and fears the quiet, peace, and perhaps even concentration that doing ONE thing at a time might lead to, perhaps require?! This would mean that we have to spend time with ourselves. We have to spend time with our thoughts. And then we have to make decisions about those thoughts, we have to come to conclusions about who we REALLY are deep down inside. The fear lies in the fact that we may not like what we find out, and we may find out how really upset or unhappy we are. But instead of running, we need to face the fear and take control over our lives instead of letting life take control of us.
So, try something new in the coming weeks. Mono-task. Do ONE thing at a time, perhaps ONE thing a day. We may find that we will actually get a lot more done...
The idea of mono-tasking seems to be lost on our current generation and culture. Instead of stopping, slowing down, and relaxing, we are always looking for easier ways to access multiple forms of technology and information, all at the same time. Even as I type this post, I realize that having the news on in the background and having my Google chat open at the same time is taking away from my focus on writing. So what is it that we lose while we live in a world of "multitasking" instead of "mono-tasking"? Are our relationships suffering because we won't give our loved ones 100% of our attention at any given time? (Especially when they deserve and need 100% of our attention at a time of trouble, or to build the relationships.) Does our work suffer because we aren't paying as close attention to the details, but instead are trying to get more done, in a shorter amount of time, while working on other items at the same time. What about our anxiety? Imagine why so many of us suffer from anxiety when we can't even stop our thoughts from interrupting other thoughts, when we've trained our brains to just keep moving and to multi-think. (I am coining that!)
NO WONDER WE ARE EXHAUSTED! I believe some of my generation FEARS being unplugged and fears the quiet, peace, and perhaps even concentration that doing ONE thing at a time might lead to, perhaps require?! This would mean that we have to spend time with ourselves. We have to spend time with our thoughts. And then we have to make decisions about those thoughts, we have to come to conclusions about who we REALLY are deep down inside. The fear lies in the fact that we may not like what we find out, and we may find out how really upset or unhappy we are. But instead of running, we need to face the fear and take control over our lives instead of letting life take control of us.
So, try something new in the coming weeks. Mono-task. Do ONE thing at a time, perhaps ONE thing a day. We may find that we will actually get a lot more done...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A New Idea for New Year's Resolutions
Why do our New Year's Resolutions fail? Because we set ourselves up for failure. In reality, does ANYONE stick with something for entire year of their lives in this day in age? In our lives, we are busy, we are always moving, we are inundated with information, so to maintain focus on ONE goal for an entire year seems ridiculous.
Here is my solution.
Monthly resolution.
Instead of choosing to change something for an entire year of my life, I vow to change 12 (or so) somethings. Instead of trying to reach an unreachable goal, I am being realistic. I am going to feel the sense of satisfaction monthly upon the success of achieving my goals. Here are my current monthly resolutions:
January: To see a movie on a weeknight
To do something therapeutic for myself
To stop putting others in front of myself
Results: I saw the movie "No Strings Attached" on a Tuesday.
I took time out to relax, to let my brain stop thinking, and to put myself first through healing old wounds and refocusing my energy. I began to write it all down to gain perspective.
February: To tell friends how much they mean to me more often.
To get more sleep.
To eat in more often.
To be continued...
Here is my solution.
Monthly resolution.
Instead of choosing to change something for an entire year of my life, I vow to change 12 (or so) somethings. Instead of trying to reach an unreachable goal, I am being realistic. I am going to feel the sense of satisfaction monthly upon the success of achieving my goals. Here are my current monthly resolutions:
January: To see a movie on a weeknight
To do something therapeutic for myself
To stop putting others in front of myself
Results: I saw the movie "No Strings Attached" on a Tuesday.
I took time out to relax, to let my brain stop thinking, and to put myself first through healing old wounds and refocusing my energy. I began to write it all down to gain perspective.
February: To tell friends how much they mean to me more often.
To get more sleep.
To eat in more often.
To be continued...
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Our Facebook Obsessions
Attention everyone! I have an important declaration to make.
You should not base your happiness, or the value of your life, on how many "likes" you get on your Facebook status update.
This is ludicrous! I cannot claim to be innocent in this issue, so those of you who are already offended (maybe I hit a little too close to home) please know I am not throwing stones. However, as I continue to use technology like social networking, both for work and for personal use, I can see that we as a society are starting to change our views of technology's role in our lives. I have evidence to back up my claims:
1. I recently got invited to a football game viewing party. When I say "party", I mean that my boyfriend and I were invited to a friend's house, with 4 other people total, and instead of calling us to ask us if we wanted to watch, I was invited via a facebook event.
2. When implementing a new technological tool at school with my students, I got the response "Can't we just do it the old fashioned way and print it out for you?!" Old fashioned way is now "to type and print"...
3. I realized that upon completing tasks like doing the dishes, I felt a unnerving need to post about it online and get complimented by the general public on my great "accomplishment".
4. I also realized that I once got extremely angry at my boyfriend for not bothering to update his status for months on end... mostly because I wanted people to "see our relationship grow". What?!? Can't our friends just go out with us to see this?!?!
There is so, so much more...
However, what I decided to do was not to complain about this inundation, but rather to be sure that I accept this reality (although I don't need to like it) and to let you all know that you are BETTER than this. True friends don't need to be "friends" on facebook. Truly good news should be shared in person. Real accomplishment comes from your feeling of satisfaction within, not from how many people "view your profile". And, when you update your status to share that you've finished brewing another cup of tea for an afternoon pick-me-up, know that perhaps the world won't really take notice, and if no one "likes" your post, it is going to be ok. You can still drink your tea and find pleasure in it. If not, perhaps you need to turn off the computer. Now.
You should not base your happiness, or the value of your life, on how many "likes" you get on your Facebook status update.
This is ludicrous! I cannot claim to be innocent in this issue, so those of you who are already offended (maybe I hit a little too close to home) please know I am not throwing stones. However, as I continue to use technology like social networking, both for work and for personal use, I can see that we as a society are starting to change our views of technology's role in our lives. I have evidence to back up my claims:
1. I recently got invited to a football game viewing party. When I say "party", I mean that my boyfriend and I were invited to a friend's house, with 4 other people total, and instead of calling us to ask us if we wanted to watch, I was invited via a facebook event.
2. When implementing a new technological tool at school with my students, I got the response "Can't we just do it the old fashioned way and print it out for you?!" Old fashioned way is now "to type and print"...
3. I realized that upon completing tasks like doing the dishes, I felt a unnerving need to post about it online and get complimented by the general public on my great "accomplishment".
4. I also realized that I once got extremely angry at my boyfriend for not bothering to update his status for months on end... mostly because I wanted people to "see our relationship grow". What?!? Can't our friends just go out with us to see this?!?!
There is so, so much more...
However, what I decided to do was not to complain about this inundation, but rather to be sure that I accept this reality (although I don't need to like it) and to let you all know that you are BETTER than this. True friends don't need to be "friends" on facebook. Truly good news should be shared in person. Real accomplishment comes from your feeling of satisfaction within, not from how many people "view your profile". And, when you update your status to share that you've finished brewing another cup of tea for an afternoon pick-me-up, know that perhaps the world won't really take notice, and if no one "likes" your post, it is going to be ok. You can still drink your tea and find pleasure in it. If not, perhaps you need to turn off the computer. Now.
Monday, January 3, 2011
So I took a year off!!!
Everyone gets distracted every now and then. The saddest part is that I distracted myself from, well, myself for the past year of life. I started writing because I felt like I needed to write again. I have always dreamed of writing in my "spare time" and low and behold, this past year I didn't allow myself to even HAVE spare time. I have completely gotten wrapped up in my image of what life is supposed to look like, what I am supposed to be doing, and how I can prove to others that I am good at it. Well, it may just have all been a big illusion! When you get busy, especially when you bring the business upon yourself, you don't allow yourself any time to think. THINKING IS VITAL PEOPLE! It is not just an expression, I am sure if I really looked hard I'd find psychological evidence of this fact. Here is my hypothesis:
Being too busy allows you to be constantly distracted. What distracts us, as humans, are the things we THINK are important or think we need. For example, I think that I need to be the last person at work every night to prove to all my coworkers that I work hard. Um, ok, why can't I work hard and still maintain NORMAL working hours? And why can't the joy in my students' faces (maybe not joy but at least not disdain) be all the recognition I need? We think that we need "stuff". After being robbed in November, I realized we don't need stuff, it is just stuff. I was so calm and so comforted by my calm nature at that moment that I started to see the fault in needing to buy the best, the most expensive, the most in general... So, while we are being distracted by our lives, it is really to avoid what we dread the most: having to really listen to our hearts.
I once had a friend who I thought was the coolest! I loved her sense of fashion, style of decor in her house, culinary tastes, and company. As I moved through this friendship, I started to feel like I was never good enough, never trendy enough, never going to be as beautiful or as rich as this girl wanted her friends to be. I mean, I don't own designer jeans, expensive make up, or even get my hair and nails done at top salons (or at all!) When I started to realize that I was constantly comparing myself to this other lifestyle, and I realized that it wasn't "me", I was miserable with guilt. I felt like I had lied to other people, when in reality it was myself I had been lying to all along. I am not the person I was wanting to become, and I had to really listen to my heart, as much as it was breaking, to know that I couldn't remain friends with someone who was on a totally different path than I was.
So, if you wonder where this return to the written word has come from, it is from reading! 2 weeks ago I resolved to return to activities that I knew once made me happy, but I had moved away from for far too long. I read a book again. For fun. One that I had started months ago but never finished once I got "busy". Paulo Coehlo's The Alchemist. Perhaps it is where my heart is now, or my introspection, but holy wow is that philosophical book about my life precisely. I want to read it again, picking out passages that touched me and made me want to be "me" again.
Minus the judgment, the guilt, the sadness, and the other weaknesses that have taken over me.
Being too busy allows you to be constantly distracted. What distracts us, as humans, are the things we THINK are important or think we need. For example, I think that I need to be the last person at work every night to prove to all my coworkers that I work hard. Um, ok, why can't I work hard and still maintain NORMAL working hours? And why can't the joy in my students' faces (maybe not joy but at least not disdain) be all the recognition I need? We think that we need "stuff". After being robbed in November, I realized we don't need stuff, it is just stuff. I was so calm and so comforted by my calm nature at that moment that I started to see the fault in needing to buy the best, the most expensive, the most in general... So, while we are being distracted by our lives, it is really to avoid what we dread the most: having to really listen to our hearts.
I once had a friend who I thought was the coolest! I loved her sense of fashion, style of decor in her house, culinary tastes, and company. As I moved through this friendship, I started to feel like I was never good enough, never trendy enough, never going to be as beautiful or as rich as this girl wanted her friends to be. I mean, I don't own designer jeans, expensive make up, or even get my hair and nails done at top salons (or at all!) When I started to realize that I was constantly comparing myself to this other lifestyle, and I realized that it wasn't "me", I was miserable with guilt. I felt like I had lied to other people, when in reality it was myself I had been lying to all along. I am not the person I was wanting to become, and I had to really listen to my heart, as much as it was breaking, to know that I couldn't remain friends with someone who was on a totally different path than I was.
So, if you wonder where this return to the written word has come from, it is from reading! 2 weeks ago I resolved to return to activities that I knew once made me happy, but I had moved away from for far too long. I read a book again. For fun. One that I had started months ago but never finished once I got "busy". Paulo Coehlo's The Alchemist. Perhaps it is where my heart is now, or my introspection, but holy wow is that philosophical book about my life precisely. I want to read it again, picking out passages that touched me and made me want to be "me" again.
Minus the judgment, the guilt, the sadness, and the other weaknesses that have taken over me.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas Cheer
I really wish I had more time to write lately. The end of the semester is always packed full for teachers. However, now I have time to relax in Minnesota, watch some snowy weather outside, and enjoy my favorite Christmas past time-- sipping on holiday themed beverages.
This year I am experimenting with Bailey's and Amaretto. Nothing soothes a shopped-out soul like a good martini by the fire, with reruns on TV, and your family dog chasing after you to go for a walk.
I am not a nostalgic person usually, but we certainly have our family traditions, and as the children in the family (4 of us) we refuse to let go of them. We HAVE to open gifts Christmas Eve, with one exception from Santa, who still visits. We always wake up early and search through the stockings first. We usually go to church when our parents are singing or playing in the band, but we always dress up in festive outfits. We all eat dinner together, and we can't open gifts until mom has declared that the table is sufficiently clean and all left overs are stored away. This killed us as kids. Oh, and dad usually procrastinates a bit more and pretends to do odds and ends to torture us. At least he isn't still trying to get us to perform family Christmas songs on video anymore...
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